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im fat and ugly and i suck at life :)
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Never Date an Aquarius

Freaky, unconventional, and downright strange - it's likely that any Aquarius will weird you out.
And if you do happen to fall for an Aquarius, you'll probably find them too emotionally distant to connect with.

Instead try dating: Cancer, Pisces, Capricorn, or Virgo
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so the pain from my ear woke me up at like 8 oclock this morning...me..being the stubborn bitch that i am tried to pretend that this damn ear infection was going to go away...however it got about 100 times worse since last night... so..without a doubt i took my ass to urgent care...which was surprisingly enough not a bad experience...i only had to wait for about 5 minutes in the waiting room and the doctor saw me right away...once again...for the second time in my life..the doctor took one look at my ear and put a wick..this plug like thing in my ear and gave me some antibiotic ear drops..it started to feel better but now i have a plug in my right ear which means i cannot hear a damn thing...
so if you see me anytime soon...please speak at a very loud tone so that i may hear your every word
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i know that nobody cares...but im fucking addicted to myspace now that i have one...
and for some god forsaken reason...i cant get to my myspace tonight and i want to die...
its saying something about routine maintenance...they need to get their shit together cuz a sad addicted technology whore now....
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Life just continues to get more and more complex everyday...
I should just hop the greyhound bus to anywhere..because i cant deal with shit
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Happy turkey day to everyone... Or even if its not completely happy, then try to make it tolerable...thats pretty much my plan
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I lie to my parents about who i am and what i do in every aspect of my life because i am sick and tired of seeing their looks of disappointment...ive gone to extreme measures in my life in order to make them happy...but i dont know how much longer i can keep this up... they know nothing about me or my life...and its starting to become much more apparent
Current Mood:
discontent discontent
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Halloween party tonight at my house...
Current Mood:
nervous nervous
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Bruiser....you have been my friend for 8 years...its so hard to let you go... i hope you understand that i did what i did out of love, and i was there even though you couldnt see me...
you always will hold a place in my heart... even when the pain turns numb, you will always be in there... the house seems so empty without you here... i miss everything about you...
i hope that if you should ever find in your next life you are a stray puppy or kitten, you would come to my door... to your door...that you would come home...you know where home is...
but until then, know that you are loved...and always will be
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so i havent talked to my friend lisa in like a year...then i see her online ..and she is in florida now...and wants me to come visit her (which i probably wont cuz i hate to fly)....
but anyway...she tells me..."natalie..you need a myspace...come on..get with it here" Everyone tells me i need a myspace...i have lived for 27 years perfectly happy without one...so why do i "need" one????? Anyway...i may get one...but not cuz i need one...plus i dont own a camera...so you know...what the fuck am i supposed to put on myspace...pictures of martha stewart???
but it was nice to hear from her...i havent seen her in so long and i miss her alot...
Current Mood:
cynical cynical
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completely wretched day off...i feel like im losing my mind..
i cleaned the house...took bruiser to the vet cuz he is pissing blood in the house...
it was awful cuz they had to muzzle him and shaved his neck to take blood..poor kitty...
now i dont find out whats wrong with him until tomorrow..and he has lost 3 pounds...which the vet seemed quite concerned about..
he has been my buddy for the last 8 years...so many things he has been through with me...i know it sounds dumb to talk this way about a cat..but if something is seriously wrong with him..im going to be very very sad for a very long time...right now he looks so pitiful with his shaved neck and his fur is falling out anyway...
to make matters worse..my washing machine is broke...so i had to go to the fucking laundrymat today... i wont even go into that...
think im gonna see if jacob is home...i need to get out of my house before i lose it..
Current Mood:
worried worried
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blobityblahblahblah.....
i hate bars...why the fuck do i subject myself to torture...
dont think im going to ever leave my fucking house again
Current Mood:
morose morose
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"i had to leave the house of fashion
go forth naked from its doors
cuz women should be allies
not competitors
i had to leave the house of god
cuz the cross replaced the wheel
and the goddesses were out in the garden
with the plants that nourish and heal

i had to leave the house of privilege
spend christmas homeless and feeling bad
to learn that privilege is a headache
that you dont know that you dont have
and i had to leave the house of television
to start noticing the clouds
its amazing the stuff you see
when you finally shed that shroud

i had to leave the house of conformity
in order to make art
i had to be more or less true
to learn to tell the two apart
and i had to leave the house of fear
just about as soon as i could crawl
ignore my face on the wanted poster
stuck to the post office wall

i had to leave the house of self-importance
to doodle my first tattoo
realize a tattoo is no more permanent
than i am, and who
ever said that life is suffering
i think they had their finger on the pulse of joy
aint the power of transcendence
the greatest one we can employ"

shroud by ani difranco

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blah...finally changed my stupid background
Current Mood:
dorky dorky
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im a stupid fucking idiot...
Current Mood:
depressed depressed
Current Music:
gunshots or fireworks...i cant tell the difference
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argh....midnight shift starts tonight...i would rather sit at home and watch justice league..but i guess im supposed to be an adult now or something...
at least ive got my nintendo ds to take with me everywhere i go....
anyway..im officially a ghost..at least for a few weeks now
Current Mood:
melancholy melancholy
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god damn...sometimes i hate the ringing in my ears i recieve after going to a loud smoky ass bar..
Current Mood:
grateful grateful
Current Music:
pat fucking benetar
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ahhh...it sounds like fucking world war 3 outside of my house right now...
by the way..happy 4th of july...
lilly and sunny are curled up on the couch in horror...what a wonderful holiday...
and some asshole keeps throwing those spinner things right towards my fucking house..if i find this person, i will remove their fingers
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ok...havent been on in awhile because of my loathing of technology...anyway...went to see superman returns today....one of the worst movies ive seen in awhile...its scary...
3 hours of mediocre acting and i couldnt even stretch my knee...so needless to say i was in some pain...was pissed off...and i hate people...
then we were driving home past the fucking fireworks stands...it was like a fucking circus freakshow..people wasting money they probably dont have on shit they dont need...
anyway...probably going to sit at home and waste away with bobby..who is sleeping right now on the couch..i can hear him snoring from in here...so i must go torture him...(i love these wonderful loving moments)...hahaha...bye bye
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I GOT A JOB...
thank you to everyone who supported me this week while i lost my mind
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